Survivor in Hyrule! A parody of the CBS show.
by ChrstnWrtr
Summary: Outsmart....Outnumber....and well......WIN!
1. Default Chapter

Survivor! Hyrule style!  
  
By: Shannon  
  
NOTE: I do not own the characters to the fanfics NOR do I own the ideas of the Survivor TV series conceived by producer Mark Burnett (and broadcasted by CBS).  
  
Two teams are formed. There are five to a team, with 10 contestants in all. The prize: 1,000,000 rupees and the title of SOLE SURVIVOR!  
  
Your host: Jeff Probst  
  
[Fancy Survivor theme music]  
  
The two teams are the blue team and the black team.   
  
BLUE TEAM  
  
Link  
Zelda  
Saria  
Talon  
Impa  
  
BLACK TEAM  
  
Ganondorf  
Ganon  
Volvavia  
Stalkid  
Dodongo  
  
The two teams are separated about three miles from each other. The Blue Team is camped out in the Lost Woods and the Black Team is camped out in Gerudo Valley. Once five people are voted out, the two tribes will merge as 1 tribe. Every three days, someone will be voted out of their tribe. Teams will compete in challenges with prizes such as rewards (i.e. blankets, waterproof matches, food) that are needed for survival and immunity (meaning that they can't be voted out).   
  
  
  
  



	2. Survivor in Hyrule: Episode 1

Hylian Survivor....episode one.  
  
By: Shannon  
  
  
BLUE TEAM - Day 1  
  
Link and Zelda were getting the fire started. Talon took a nap in the shade while Saria and Impa were grudgingly putting up their shelter.   
  
"We need to put the shelter somewhere where it won't blow over," said Impa. "And we need more wood. Talon, go fetch us some more wood."  
  
"I'm tired," said Talon.  
  
"Go anyway," said Impa.  
  
"Sheesh," mumbled Talon as he got up to look for more wood for the shelter. "Can't a guy take a nap without interruption?"  
  
"Face it Talon," said Link. "You've been napping since we got here and you NEVER bothered to help!"  
  
"I did too!" snapped Talon. "I helped carry our lantern."  
  
  
Link then talks to the camera. "Well, it's been our first day and Talon hasn't been much help. I have a good mind to vote him off if we don't win our immunity challenge."  
  
  
BLACK TEAM - Day 1  
  
"Move it, Stalkid!" snapped Ganondorf as Stalkid was carrying a huge amount of wood, almost as much as he weighed himself.   
  
"Here you go, Ganondorf, sir," said Stalkid.  
  
"Perfect," replied Ganondorf. "Hey!" he yelled to Volvavia and Dodongo. "Have you got the fire started yet?"  
  
"Yes!" the two dragons replied in unison.   
  
"With those two dragons, who needs waterproof matches?" said Ganondorf to himself.   
  
Ganon was busy building their shelter. "Almost got it......there! Now the roof is finished and we have a shelter!"  
  
"Good, Ganon, good!" replied Ganondorf evilly.   
  
  
REWARD CHALLENGE - Day 2  
  
The two tribes approach each other in the middle of Hyrule Field.   
  
"Hello everyone," said host Jeff Probst. "You have your first reward challenge to play for today."  
  
"That's great Jeff," said Link. "What are we playing for?"  
  
"You're playing for a box of blankets and pillows," replied Jeff, pointing to a box of pillows and woolen blankets. "Your reward challenge is called 'Golden Rupee.' There are several holes all over this patch of land." He pointed to a small patch of land in Hyrule Field.  
  
"The patch of land is divided up. One side for each team. Each teammate look in the holes and reach in to try to find a golden rupee. The most you can find are 12. If you reach in a hole and find a pink rupee, then that doesn't count. Once you find a golden rupee, bring it back here and put it in your designated basket....the blue basket is for the blue team and the black basket is for the black team. You can only carry one rupee at a time. The team to find the most golden rupees in 5 minutes wins. On your mark, get set, GOOOO!"  
  
teams scrambled like mice in a field, reaching in each hole, looking for golden rupees. They moved quickly, finding a golden rupee, running to their basket and back again to find another gold rupee.   
  
"Okay," said Jeff. "Time's up. Let's count the rupees. For the black team.....1...2...3....4...5....6......7 golden rupees. For the blue team.....1...2...3...4...5...6....7....8 golden rupees!"  
  
The blue team cheered and high-fived each other.   
  
"Congratulations, the blankets and pillows are yours," said Jeff. "Black team, you tried your best. Good game."  
  
  
BLACK TEAM - Day 2  
  
Ganondorf talks to the camera. "I can't believe those goody-goody-two shoes pulled that off! It's partially their fault but I put most of the blame on Stalkid. He is always lagging behind."  
  
BLUE TEAM - Day 2  
  
  
  
"Well gang, we got our blankets and pillows. Now along with our sleeping bags, we'll be warm, since it does get cold here in the evenings in the Lost Woods," said Link, cuddling with his wife, Zelda.   
  
"Good, now after a hard day's work, I can get a good night's rest," said Talon. "Tomorrow morning is our immunity challenge."  
  
"What hard work, Talon?" asked Saria. "You didn't do a thing except run around in our reward challenge!"  
  
Talon said nothing but fell asleep.  
  
  
IMMUNITY CHALLENGE - Day 3 - Lake Hylia  
  
"Okay," said Jeff. "This is your first immunity challenge. You and your teammates will be tied together, like a catepillar. You will both cross two rope bridges, one for each team. The rope bridges will lead to a small island. You must swim to land from that island. The first team to reach the finish line AND get the immunity idol wins immunity. On your mark, get set, GOOOOOO!"  
  



	3. Survivor in Hyrule: Episode 2

Hyrule Survivor - episode 2  
  
By: Shannon  
  
BLACK TEAM - Day 4  
  
"I can't believe it!" cried Ganondorf. "We won immunity over those weaklings!"  
  
"Me neither," snorted Ganon.  
  
"Can me and Volvavia make the fire now," asked Dodongo. "I'm hungry and it's breakfast time."  
  
"Oh all right," said Ganondorf.   
  
The two dragons boiled a pot of rice for their morning breakfast.  
  
"All right, breakfast! I'm starving!" exclaimed Stalkid.   
  
"Not so fast," said Ganondorf. "You'll be getting your food LAST!"  
  
Stalkid sighed and waited at the end of the line to get his food.  
  
BLUE TEAM - Day 4  
  
Zelda speaks to the camera. "Well, we didn't suffer a total loss. Talon will be missed but he was not very helpful in our tribe and and he was sort of a weak link."  
  
Link was busy making rice for their breakfast. "Breakfast is almost ready guys," he said. "I was reading some mail that we were sent about our next reward challenge. It's tomorrow." Along with the mail were a few blindfolds.   
  
"I guess that's a clue to what our next reward challenge will be," said Saria. "We must be doing something blindfolded."  
  
Link wiped the sweat from his forehead with the stained, white T-shirt he was wearing. He then put on a straw hat, a little sunscreen, and went to lay out in the sun.  
  
"Man, I wish there was a beach of some sort here in the Lost Woods," said Link. "Otherwise, I'd be catching some serious waves right now."  
  
  
REWARD CHALLENGE - Day 5 - Hyrule Field  
  
The two tribes meet again to compete for another reward.  
  
"All right guys," said Jeff. "Are you all ready?"  
  
"Definitely," said Link.  
  
"I am!" exclaimed Stalkid. "What are we playing for?"  
  
Jeff said, "Whoever wins this reward challenge, gets this." He presented a picnic basket full of sandwiches, chips, soda, cookies, fruits, vegetables, etc. "That should be your dinner for tonight," said Jeff. "We have constructed two mazes, one for the black team and one for the blue team. Your task is to go through that maze blindfolded except for one member of the team, who will be in front, leading the group. The leader must not touch the blindfolded team members whatsoever but guide them solely by his or her voice. The first team to finish the maze wins the reward challenge. Pick a leader and let's get going!"  
  
"Impa, you be our leader," said Link. "I'm bad with directions."  
  
"Stalkid!" snapped Ganondorf. "You're going to be our leader!"  
  
Stalkid swallowed hard. "But, but, but...."  
  
"No buts!"  
  
"Survivors ready!" called Jeff. "GOOOOO!"  
  
After about five minutes or so, the teams were dangerously neck and neck until Saria had made a wrong turn and went in a different direction in the maze, allowing the black team to get the reward.  
  
"The black team is the winner of this reward challenge!" exclaimed Jeff.  
  
"YAHHHHHHHHOOOOOOO!" yelled Dodongo. "We WON!"  
  
Everyone was high-fiving Stalkid, except Ganondorf.   
  
"Lucky shot," he mumbled.  
  
  
BLUE TEAM - Later that day  
  
"Sorry I got lost guys," said Saria.  
  
"It's okay," said Link. "That was a hard challenge. Well, at least we have rice to eat while the black team are eating like kings over in Gerudo Valley. Well, rice is better than nothing at all." He took a big bite of his rice.  
  
BLACK TEAM - Later that day  
  
"These are greast pastrami sandwiches," said Stalkid with his mouth full of food.  
  
"Man," said Volvavia. "I don't know how you did it, but you did it!"  
  
"Me neither," said Stalkid, taking a big bite out of his pastrami sandwich.  
  
Stalkid speaks to the camera. "I was surprised. I was real nervous because everyone was counting on me to lead them through that maze and I did it. I don't know how I did it, but I did. It was a great game but I wonder why Ganondorf is mad at me. I must've said something that turned him off."  
  
  
IMMUNITY CHALLENGE - Day 6 - Lon Lon Ranch  
  
The tribes meet at Lon Lon Ranch at the table upstairs by Ingo's bed.  
  
"Okay guys," said Jeff. "This challenge is not really much of a physical one but it is one that you will have to stomach."  
  
"What are we going to be eating?" asked Saria.  
  
Jeff took out a small carboard box with holes in it. "Bugs," he said.  
  
"I think...I'm going...to.....HURL!" exclaimed Link.  
  
Jeff said, "Well Link, let's see if you are going to hurl or not. You will be paired up with another tribal member from the other tribe. The first one to eat a bug AND swallow it will be the winner and there will be a point counted for that tribe. The tribe with the most points wins. And since there are an odd number of players, one of you guys from the black team will have to take another turn."  
  
"I will, I will!" yelled Dodongo. "I'm a lizard and I LOVE bugs!"  
  
"Oooookay, Dodongo," said Jeff. "You may go first AND second. Who's willing to go up against Dodongo?"  
  
"I'll go," said Link. "Might as well get this over with."  
  
Link faced Dodongo and when Jeff gave the signal, Link managed to quickly pick up the bug, chew it and swallow it just before Dodongo could swallow his bug.  
  
"One point for the blue team," said Jeff.  
  
"I feel sick," said Link holding his stomach.  
  
Then Saria turned to face Dodongo. Before she could pick up her bug, Dodongo managed to swallow his whole.  
  
"One point for the black team and one point for the blue team," said Jeff.  
  
Eventually, the last two tribal members of the blue team managed to eat their bugs first to capture immunity for their tribe, with Ganondorf puking his guts out while trying to eat a bug.  
  
"Okay blue team, great job and immunity is yours," said Jeff, handing the immunity idol to them. "Black team, I'll see you guys at Tribal Council tonight."  
  
  
TRIBAL COUNCIL - Temple of Time  
  
"Okay guys," said Jeff. "You know the rules. You go to the confessional in the main room of the Temple of Time. You cast your vote on a small piece of paper, make a statement about why you are voting this person out, and put it in the ballot. Once the votes are tallied, the decision is final, and the person is asked to leave the tribal council area immediately. Ganondorf, you go first."  
  
First, Ganondorf cast his vote, then Ganon, then Stalkid, then Volvavia, and then Dodongo.  
  
"Okay," said Jeff. "Let's see....one vote for Stalkid....one vote for Ganondorf, another vote for Ganondorf, a third vote for Ganondorf, a fourth vote for Ganondorf, and another vote for.....Ganondorf."  
  
Ganondorf sighed and put his head in his hands.  
  
"Ganondorf," said Jeff. "Hand me your torch. The tribe has spoken." Jeff extinguishes Ganondorf's torch. "The rest of the tribe, go back to your shelter and have a nice night."  
  
GANONDORF'S FINAL WORDS  
  
"Those traitors! I can't believe it! Every person in my tribe voted against me! If any of them happen to win the 1 million rupee prize, they're going to be beaten by ME!"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Survivor in Hyrule: Episode 3

Survivor in Hyrule....Episode 3  
  
BLACK TRIBE - Day 7  
  
Stalkid into the camera. "I voted out Ganondorf for a reason because I felt that he would be a threat to us and the rest of the tribe if he stayed here. I don't think he tried hard enough and he didn't do much work at all."  
  
Ganon to the camera. "Well, I voted out Ganondorf because he was being too bossy. He felt like he was the leader when he wasn't doing what a leader SHOULD do."  
  
"All right, breakfast is ready!" yelled Dodongo. "Fresh rice....come and get it!!!!!" he yelled in a sing-song voice.  
  
"Gosh, that sing-song voice is ANNOYING, Dodongo!" snapped Volvavia.   
  
"Well, I can't help it if I'm a morning person, I mean lizard," said Dodongo nonchalantly.  
  
Volvavia muttered some cuss words under his breath as he dished up his rice.   
  
"Tsk, tsk," said Dodongo. "Potty mouth."  
  
"Shut up!" snorted Volvavia.  
  
  
BLUE TRIBE - Day 7  
  
Impa to the camera. "Saria has been cranky all day long. She hasn't said anything nice to any of us, not even at breakfast when she's usually her happiest."  
  
"What's wrong Saria?" asked Link, putting his arm around her.   
  
"PMS, you moron!" snapped Saria, pushing Link's arm away from her.  
  
"Oooookay," said Link. "Sorry I asked."  
  
Saria sighed heavily. "I'm sorry Link. I didn't mean to be cranky today but I just can't help it!"  
  
"Why don't you read or something?" asked Zelda. "You brought your Hylian Book of World Records with you as your luxory item. Why don't you go read that?"  
  
"I read it five times already but I'll go read it again." Saria went back to their shelter to read her book.  
  
  
REWARD CHALLENGE - Day 8 - Lake Hylia  
  
"Guys, this reward challenge is especially important," said Jeff. "Because this reward will be a source of entertainment. The tribe that wins this reward challenge will be treated to a double feature tonight at the Hylian Movie theater, but before you go to a movie, we'll also throw in a dinner at the Hyrule Cafe."  
  
"Oh yeah!" shouted Stalkid.  
  
"But one tribe must win this reward challenge," added Jeff. "You will all receive a fishing pole. You will all head over to the fishing pond located on the far left of Lake Hylia. Attached to the end of your line is a magnet and a sinker. We have placed several other magnets in the bottom of the lake. Your task is to pick up as many magnets as possible in under three minutes. The tribe who picks up the most magnets is the winner."  
  
Jeff handed out the fishing poles and led them over to the fishing pond in Lake Hylia.   
  
"Okay gang," said Jeff. "When I say 'GO,' you will cast your lines. Survivors ready! GOOOOO!"  
  
The tribal members cast out their lines and kept reeling in their magnets as fast as they possibly could while Ganon and Volvavia got their lines mixed up and spent the remainder of their time trying to get untangled.  
  
"Time's up," said Jeff. "Let's go count the magnets. Black team...you have.....25 magnets. Blue team, you have............65 magnets!"  
  
"WOOOOO HOOO!" screamed Link. "WE'RE GOIN' TO THE MOVIES!"  
  
"You shouldn't have casted your line there, Volvavia!" snorted Ganon.  
  
"Well, you should've asked me if I was going to cast my line there," replied Volvavia.   
  
Ganon said nothing but sighed heavily.  
  
  
AT THE HYRULE CAFE....  
  
"This veal parmesean is awesome," said Link. "Zelda honey, how is your fettucine alfredo?"  
  
"The sauce is too buttery but it's good," said Zelda.  
  
"Anyone want the rest of my roast beef?" asked Saria. "I'm full."  
  
"I'll eat it," said Link, grabbing the plate and wolfing down the food, eating with his mouth open.  
  
"Didn't your mother teach you proper table manners?" asked Impa.   
  
"Well," said Link. "Saria basically raised me from birth so...."  
  
"Don't even think about it, Link! Obviously, you weren't paying attention when I taught you proper table manners."  
  
  
When they went to the Hylian Movie Theater, their movies of choice were "Attack of the 100 foot Mutant Deku Shrub" (Link's choice) and "Fried Green Deku Nuts" (the choice of everyone else).   
  
BLACK TEAM - Later that day (while the blue team is out, enjoying themselves)  
  
Volvavia to the camera. "Ganon shouldn't have casted his line where I cast mine. He should've been paying attention."  
  
"Get over it you guys," said Stalkid to Ganon and Volvavia. "You made a mistake. Big deal. It's not the end of the world."  
  
Ganon and Volvavia said nothing but ignored Stalkid.  
  
  
BLUE TEAM - Day 9  
  
Link to the camera. "Well, I'm still full from last night's dinner so I didn't eat much breakfast. Last night's double feature was okay but I wish everyone else didn't pick 'Fried Green Deku Nuts.' I mean, c'mon, that's a chick flick!"  
  
"Well," said Saria. "We had to sit through your sci-fi flick, 'Attack of the 100 foot Mutant Deku Shrub.'"  
  
"That's a classic!" yelled Link. "I've seen it more than 15 times. And I was mad when it was snubbed for best B-movie of the year!"  
  
  
BLACK TRIBE - Day 9  
  
"It's about time we got back at the blue tribe! Are you with me, gang!?"  
  
"YEAH!" they all shouted in unison.  
  
"So are we going to beat them?!"  
  
"YEAH!"  
  
"So are we going to beat them at the NEXT immunity challenge?"  
  
Everyone remained silent.  
  
"Okay, let's just concentrate on this one."  
  
"YEAH!"  
  
Ganon rolled his eyes.  
  
  
IMMUNITY CHALLENGE - Day 9 - Lon Lon Ranch...by a campfire at night  
  
"Guys, this challenge is not a physical one but more of a quiz game. You will be asked a series of rapid fire questions and you and your tribe will have 30 seconds to answer. If you answer correctly within the time limit, you will have a point. If not, then the question will go to the next team and they will have 15 seconds to answer. If they get it right, they get a point. The team who answers the most questions CORRECTLY in 5 minutes wins immunity for their tribe. Black tribe, you will go first."  
  
Jeff quickly asked all the questions in the game in the 5 minute time limit. At the end of the 5 minutes, both teams were tied.  
  
"Okay, now we go into sudden death," said Jeff. "I will ask one question and the first tribe to answer it correctly wins immunity. If one tribe answers it incorrectly, the other tribe will receive immunity. In order to answer the question, one member of the tribe must raise their hand. Whoever raises their hand the fastest will get to answer the question. Now, our final question. In the 'Golden Rupee' challenge, what color were the other rupees, other than the ones that were gold.?"  
  
The black tribe quickly raised their hands.   
  
"Yes, black tribe!" said Jeff.  
  
"They were...they were.....PURPLE!" shouted Dodongo.   
  
"Incorrect, they were pink," said Jeff. "Blue tribe wins immunity again."  
  
"YAY!" shouted Link.  
  
"Blue tribe, you may go back to your shelter, black tribe, follow me to tribal council."  
  
"Gee, thanks a lot Dodongo," said Volvavia.  
  
"But I could've sworn they were purple," whined Dodongo.  
  
"Look, Dodongo," said Ganon. "There is a color difference between purple and pink."  
  
IMMUNITY CHALLENGE - Temple of Time  
  
"All right guys," said Jeff. "You know the drill, go in, vote, and put your vote in the ballot and after the votes are tallied the decison is final and the person or thing will be asked to leave the Tribal Council area immediately. Stalkid, you may go first."  
  
First, Stalkid voted, then Ganon, then Volvavia, then Dodongo.  
  
"Okay, the votes are tallied, let's see who gets to be voted out tonight! First vote, Volvavia. Second vote...Dodongo. Third vote....Dodongo. Fourth vote...Ganon. Dodongo, you have the most votes out of four."  
  
"Bye guys," said Dodongo, picking up his things.  
  
"Dodongo," said Jeff as he extinguished his torch. "The tribe has spoken. Guys, you can go back to your camp and get a good night's rest."  
  
  
DODONGO'S LAST WORDS  
  
"Well, after Ganondorf left, I kinda felt that my head was on the chopping block since I kinda backed up Ganondorf until the end. And playing that rupee game was hard considering that I'm colorblind. Now I can go back to Mrs. Dodongo since's she's waiting for me to clean out the master bedroom in our cavern since I left to play 'Survivor.'"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Survivor in Hyrule: Episode 4

Survivor in Hyrule: Episode 4  
  
BLACK TRIBE - Day 10  
  
Stalkid into the camera. "I liked Dodongo but I personally thought Volvavia was really rude to everyone. Unfortunately, he didn't get voted out and I'm not surprised since Dodongo missed that question that costed us immunity."  
  
  
Suddenly, sharp winds come from Desert Colossus nearby (they camped in Gerudo Valley) and blew away their shelter, leaving them open to the elements.  
  
"Oh great, just great," grumbled Ganon. "Our shelter's gone!"  
  
"At least we have our sleeping bags," said Stalkid.   
  
"SHUT UP!" snorted Ganon. "We have to think of another way to build another shelter."  
  
"Well, I got today's mail," said Stalkid. "Tomorrow's reward challenge will be for some sort of shelter."  
  
"TOMORROW? What about tonight? We're going to freeze!" snapped Ganon  
  
"I know," said Volvavia. "Let's sneak in the Goron's place after sundown and sleep there for the night."  
  
"Let's just ask them nicely," said Stalkid. "If we did, then they'll probably let us sleep for the night."  
  
"Oh sure, you want to do it the easy way," Ganon snorted.  
  
"Well, what about those prison cells that the carpenters were once held captive?" asked Stalkid.   
  
"Well, we never thought of that," said Ganon. "Thanks for the idea! Now we don't have to worry about winning the reward challenge."  
  
BLUE TRIBE - Day 10  
  
"Saria, I swear!" yelled Zelda. "You are turning out to be the crankiest woman alive!"  
  
"I can't help it, Your Highness," sneered Saria. "That I have PMS!"  
  
"Gee, thanks for sharing, Saria," said Link.  
  
"SHUT UP!"  
  
"Well, excuse me, Saria SCHMARIA!"  
  
"Don't agitate her," said Impa.   
  
REWARD CHALLENGE - Day 11 - Zora's fountain  
  
"All right guys," said Jeff. "This reward for this challenge is shelter and not just ANY shelter. The winner will be spending the night at the Hylian Hilton and after this reward challenge, the winning tribe will be ESCORTED to the hotel by a horse and carriage. Then, you will all have access to the weight room, batting cages, miniature golf course, pool, jacuzzi, arcade, massage therapy room, entertainment center, etc. You will then have a buffet dinner and the next morning, you will be treated to breakfast-in-bed followed by one round of 9 hole golf."  
  
After Jeff was finished speaking, Link was practically drooling. "One round of golf....FREE?" he asked.   
  
"Yep," said Jeff. "All on us if you can win this reward challenge. There are two huge transparent tubs of water. Each tribal member will have a bucket. You will fill that bucket with water and bring it back and fill the tub with it, but an important reminder, the buckets have holes in them. The tribe who has the most water in their tub in under ONE MINUTE will win the reward challenge. Survivors ready! GOOOO!"  
  
One by one, each tribal member was filling his or her bucket with water and frantically trying to fill their tub. The black tribe was ahead of the blue tribe when Ganon (at the LAST MINUTE) accidentally filled the opposing tribe's tub of water.  
  
"Okay," said Jeff. "Well, thanks to Ganon there, who accidentally filled the wrong tub of water, the blue tribe WINS!"  
  
"Thanks a lot, Ganon!" snapped Volvavia.   
  
"But I was nervous!" snorted Ganon.  
  
  
  
AT THE HYLIAN HILTON PRIVATE BUFFET ROOM....  
  
"That was one totally awesome massage, Link honey," said Zelda suggestively.   
  
"Well, um, uh," said Link blushing.   
  
"Let's not discuss your love life at the dinner table, okay?" said Saria.  
  
"Well, look who's talking, Miss PMS!" sneered Link.  
  
"Be quiet you two!" said Impa. "Let's enjoy ourselves. Remember, this is a treat and we're not going to be getting these often."  
  
Everyone remained quiet throughout the rest of the summer. After dinner, everyone went to the miniature golf course and played 18 holes of golf to prep up for the 9 hole golf game the next morning.  
  
BLACK TRIBE - Day 11  
  
"I'm uncomfortable," whined Ganon, tossing and turning in his sleeping bag. "And this deserted prison is cold!"  
  
Volvavia, who was tired of Ganon's whining, made a fire.   
  
"At least it's warm," said Stalkid eating the rest of his dinner (rice of course). "Some shelter is better than no shelter at all."   
  
BLUE TRIBE - Day 12   
  
Link to the camera. "We're back from our day of bliss. The round of golf was awesome. We were allowed to have our own caddies and stuff. The pool was nice and warm and the arcade was just truly butt-kickingly awesome. Still, Saria's PMSing still gets on my nerves. In fact, she's on my last one."  
  
While Saria was out for a walk, Link called the rest of the tribe in for a meeting. The three of them, who were sick and tired of Saria's crankiness, formed a secret alliance.  
  
"If we lose immunity tonight or the next time we lose immunity," said Link. "We all promise to vote off Saria. Yay or nay?"  
  
"Yay!" the rest of the tribe said in unison.  
  
"Well, the yays have it!" exclaimed Link.  
  
About an hour later, Saria returned and didn't suspect a thing.  
  
  
  
BLACK TRIBE - Day 12  
  
"My back hurts!" snapped Volvavia.   
  
"So does mine," said Ganon. "You don't hear me complaining."   
  
"But you were complaining last night because it was too cold!"  
  
"Can you two be nice for once?" asked Stalkid.  
  
"OH SHUT UP!" Ganon and Volvavia said in unison.  
  
  
IMMUNITY CHALLENGE - Day 12 - Desert Colossus  
  
"Okay guys," said Jeff. "This immunity challenge will be similar to the very first one you had, BUT this is a foot race. You will all still be tied together. You will be running barefoot in the hot sand. The first tribe to get to the finish line AND grab the immunity idol wins immunity. And you must work as a team. Survivors ready! GOOOO!"  
  
Just as the blue tribe started from the starting line, the black tribe headed out with Stalkid leading them. About 45 seconds later, Link and the blue tribe catch up but manage to fall behind again after Zelda tripped over a rock and the black tribe pulled ahead for victory and immunity.  
  
"The black tribe wins immunity!" exclaimed Jeff. "You may go back to your shelter and we will provide a battery powered heater so you guys can sleep at night."  
  
"Thanks Jeff," said Ganon.   
  
"Oh and, the blue tribe? See you all at tribal council."  
  
  
TRIBAL COUNCIL - Day 12 - Temple of Time  
  
"Guys, it's nice seeing you all again," said Jeff. "The last time you guys were here, you had to vote off Talon and that was almost two weeks ago. Now you know the rules, go in, vote, have your say, put your vote in the ballot. Once all the votes are tallied the decision is final and the person voted out will be asked to leave the tribal council area immediately. Link you may go first."  
  
Link casts his vote first, then Saria, then Zelda, then Impa.  
  
"Okay, the votes are tallied," said Jeff. "One for Saria......one for Link....one for Saria. And....one vote for Saria."  
  
"Bye guys, it was a priviledge being on your tribe," said Saria.  
  
"Saria, the tribe has spoken," said Jeff as he extinguished her torch. "Now the rest of you guys can head back to your camp and we'll also provide a battery powered heater to keep you guys warm."  
  
  
SARIA'S LAST WORDS  
  
"Well, needless to say, I think I had it coming to me. I should've kept my PMSing under control but I didn't and I think that's what cost me my shot at 1 million rupees. I wish my tribe the best of luck."  
  
  
  



	6. Survivor in Hyrule: Episode 5

Survivor in Hyrule: Episode 5  
  
BLUE TRIBE - Day 13  
  
Link to the camera. "It's been almost two weeks since we camped out here in the Lost Woods. Thank Goodness Saria left. I was almost about to go NUTS!"  
  
"Link honey," said Zelda. "Would you mind, um, helping me with breakfast?"  
  
"Sure honey," said Link. "That's what husbands are for."  
  
"I now honestly feel really bad about going behind Saria's back," said Impa.  
  
"Oh come on now," said Link. "Admit that she got on your nerves!"  
  
"But she's a fellow sage!"  
  
"But, but, but! No buts Impa! She's a pain in the butt if you ask me!"  
  
  
BLACK TRIBE - Day 13  
  
"This deserted prison may be uncomfortable but it sure is warm with that battery-powered heater," said Ganon.  
  
"That's nice," said Volvavia, who was busy cooking the rice. "Well, breakfast is served."  
  
"Thanks, I'm starved," said Ganon. "I didn't eat a thing last night."  
  
"Why not?" asked Stalkid.   
  
"Well, I guess I wasn't feeling well so I didn't eat."  
  
  
REWARD CHALLENGE - Day 14 - Death Mountain Crator  
  
"All right guys," said Jeff. "This is another foot race but it is for a totally awesome reward. The winning tribe will be treated to lunch at a Cajun restaurant and to dinner at an Italian cuisine restaurant, something different from the usual rice. On top of that, the entire tribe will be rented out tuxes and dresses because they will be seeing an opera at the Hyrule Opera House and the winning tribe will receive V.I.P passes and tickets! After that, you will be allowed to spend ANOTHER night at the Hylian Hilton. In the morning, you will be treated to a buffet breakfast."  
  
"What's our challenge?" asked Ganon.  
  
"Well, this is an individual tribe, timed footrace and again, you will all be tied together. You are ALL going to run across a strip of hot coal. I will time you. The tribe with the best time will be scoring a free lunch, dinner, and tickets to the opera, 'La Boheme.'"  
  
"Awesome!" said Stalkid.  
  
"The black ttribe will be going first," said Jeff. "Survivors ready! GOOOOO!"  
  
The black tribe literally tiptoed down the strip of hot coal.  
  
"Time is 45. 6 seconds," said Jeff. "Blue tribe, ready! GOOOO!"  
  
The blue tribe was even slower than the black tribe as they hopped up and down on the hot coal.  
  
"The blue tribe's time is.......60 seconds even."  
  
"WOOO HOOO!" screamed Stalkid. "We're going to the opera!"  
  
"Good game blue tribe," said Jeff.   
  
  
AT THE OPERA....  
  
"I can't understand what he's singing," grunted Ganon.  
  
"That's because they're singing in French," said Stalkid. "Ever since I was little, I've always wanted to see an opera and here's my chance!"  
  
"Shhh," said the usher. "Please be quiet."  
  
"Sorry," whispered Stalkid.  
  
  
BACK AT THE BLUE TRIBE CAMP....  
  
"Sorry I slowed you guys down," said Impa.  
  
"It's okay," said Link. "Let's let them have a reward challenge for a change. And my feet hurt like heck from walking on those hot coals!" He put his feet in a small running brook of water to cool them off.  
  
"But I wanted to go to the opera!" whined Zelda.   
  
"You'll get your chance, honey," said Link.   
  
"But it would've been romantic!"  
  
  
BLACK TRIBE - Day 15  
  
Ganon to the camera. "Well, I had a good time, I think. The opera was hard to understand though, since it was in French."  
  
"It had English subtitles projected above the stage, you moron!" snapped Volvavia.  
  
BLUE TRIBE - Day 15  
  
Link to the camera. "This morning, a tree fell on our shelter. Luckily, no one was hurt and we were able to make a new shelter out of the fallen tree."  
  
"Hey," said Link. "This thing is as big as a redwood! Let's carve out a little cave or something."  
  
"There's a huge hole in it," said Impa. "Maybe that's why it fell down."  
  
So the trio camped out in the huge redwood tree that fell down on their original campsite as they prepared for the next immunity challenge.  
  
IMMUNITY CHALLENGE - Day 15 - Hyrule Castle  
  
"And now there are six of you.....Impa, Zelda, Link, Stalkid, Ganon, and Volvavia. Only two of you will be participating in this immunity challenge and I need one volunteer from each tribe and pick one of your strongest people."  
  
"I pick Volvavia," said Ganon.  
  
"Let's pick Impa," said Link.   
  
"Okay, Impa and Volvavia," said Jeff. "The two of you will be each holding on your shoulders eight small buckets of water, four on each side of a pole. You will be standing on two stumps. The last person or dragon, that is, to remain standing will give their tribe immunity and a chance to be in the top five."  
  
Once Impa and Volvavia were situated, all the tribal members could do was watch and cheer on their tribal mates. About five minutes later, Volvavia, trying to maintain his balance on the wooden stump, fell over, emptying all 8 buckets of water.  
  
"Immunity......the blue tribe!" said Jeff. "Black tribe, gather your things and meet me at tribal council."  
  
  
TRIBAL COUNCIL - Temple of Time  
  
"All right guys," said Jeff. "Enjoying yourselves so far?"  
  
"My back still hurts," whined Volvavia.  
  
"Okay you guys," said Jeff. "You know the drill. Volvavia, you may step up and vote first."  
  
First Volvavia voted, then Ganon, then Stalkid.  
  
"Okay, the votes are tallied and let me read them off," said Jeff. "First vote is for Ganon, second vote is for Volvavia.....one vote Ganon, one vote Volvavia......the fifth person voted out of Survivor is................Volvavia."  
  
"I can't believe it," said Volvavia. "Well, I'd rather go anyway. My back still hurts."  
  
"Volvavia, hand me your torch," said Jeff. "The tribe has spoken." Jeff extinguished Volvavia's torch. "Guys, you can go to your camp and await further instructions for tomorrow morning for tomorrow, you and the blue tribe will merge into one tribe."  
  
  
  
VOLVAVIA'S LAST WORDS  
  
"Well, I kinda wanted out after that last immunity challenge. My back hurts like heck. Well, I wish the rest of the contestants the best of luck."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. Survivor in Hyrule: Episode 6

Survivor in Hyrule: Episode 6  
  
The remaining contestants from the black and from the blue tribes meet with Jeff at Lon Lon Ranch.   
  
"All right guys," said Jeff. "Now that there are five more contestants, you will all merge as ONE tribe and since there is one tribe now, you will all be battling for INDIVIDUAL immunity. You are now the Red Tribe and your new camp will be at Lake Hylia. We have provided materials for you to make a shelter and we have provided more rations of rice as well. You will still have reward and immunity challenges BUT they will be for the individual, not the tribe. And for making it this far, we have a little surprise waiting for you at Lake Hylia."  
  
The new, Red Tribe hiked their way from Lon Lon Ranch to Lake Hylia, awaiting their surprise. Once they got there, there was a prepared picnic lunch with sandwiches, fruit, veggies, cookies, soda, etc.  
  
"We finally made it!" shouted Link.   
  
After eating, the red tribe built their shelter near the entrance to Lake Hylia to avoid their shelter caving in from the rain.   
  
REWARD CHALLENGE - Day 17 - Gerudo Valley  
  
"Now guys," said Jeff. "Whoever wins this immunity challenge will have the priviledge of spending the night at Lon Lon Ranch with some visiting ranchers."  
  
"I thought it was going to be a REAL reward," said Stalkid.  
  
"It gets better," said Jeff. "You will get to ride there on horseback. You'll have a barbeque steak dinner by a campfire and you will get to sleep in a warm bed under a tent rather than a shelter and in the morning, you will be having pancakes, eggs, biscuits and gravy, sausage, bacon, and fresh fruit for breakfast. Now that beats the pants off of rice anyday!"  
  
"It sure does," said Stalkid. "Now what about the reward challenge?"  
  
"Well," said Jeff. "There is a net of plates over at the far end where I am standing. Those plates are made out of plaster. You will be equipped with a slingshot and deku nuts. Your job is to break as many of those plates as possible, BUT, they are color-coordinated....pink for Zelda, green for Link, blue for Impa, red for Stalkid, and black for Ganon. You must clear as many of YOUR plates as possible. The first person or creature to break their plates wins the reward challenge. Survivors ready! GOOOO!"  
  
Everyone had a hard time trying to aim for their colored plates....except for Link, who was an expert in the field of "slingshot-ese," due to previous experience with shooting gold skulltullas. He managed to break all his plates before everyone else.  
  
"Link," said Jeff. "You are the first red tribal member to win the reward challenge. Head back to camp, gather the stuff you'll need and the ranchers will pick you up at Lake Hylia."  
  
"I wish you could come with me, Zelda," said Link. "It would be romantic for us to lie under the stars together at night."  
  
"I know, I know," said Zelda. "But you won the reward challenge, I didn't."  
  
Link packed his stuff. He was wearing a straw hat, his usual stained, white T-shirt, a pair of somewhat clean socks, a pair of khaki shorts, and hiking boots. Slung over his shoulder was a backpack with stuff he'd need to stay the night.  
  
Suddenly, the ranchers came by to pick him up, accompanied by Jeff Probst, the host.   
  
"G'day, mate," said one of the ranchers.  
  
"Oh, yeah," said Jeff. "They're Australian so they speak with a funny accent."  
  
"Hey," said Link. He hopped on one of the horses and they rode to their camp in Lon Lon Ranch.   
  
  
"So you enjoyin' yerself so far, Link?" asked one of the ranchers as he bit into a thick, juicy steak.  
  
"Great!" said Link. "This steak is awesome and cooked just the way I like it.......medium well. But I kinda miss my wife though."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well, she's on your tribe ain't she?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well, I wouldn't worry about it, Mate. You'll only be gone for one night."  
  
"That's true."  
  
That night, Link was sleeping in a cot, in his own personal tent. He was lying face up, looking at the seams of the tent. He suddenly decided to sit under the stars for a little bit before going to bed.   
  
  
RED TRIBE - Day 18  
  
Ganon into the camera. "Well, it's been nice and peaceful here so far. But since Link's coming back this morning after breakfast, I don't know if it will be nice and peaceful."  
  
Just as the red tribe was finishing their breakfast of rice, Link came back, with a belly full of eggs, pancakes, grits, sausage, etc.  
  
"So how is everyone?" he asked.  
  
"Fine, I guess," said Stalkid.  
  
"Well, I saved two pieces of sausage links and two slices of bacon for each of you guys since you're probably sick and tired of rice right now." He handed out the food to everyone.   
  
"Thank you honey," said Zelda.   
  
"Don't mention it."  
  
  
IMMUNITY CHALLENGE - Day 18 - Gerudo Valley   
  
"Okay guys," said Jeff. "This immunity challenge is slightly different than the reward challenge BUT it is easier said than done. You will each be riding on horseback, and you will try to shoot arrows into a row of targets. The targets consist of three rings. The outer ring is 50 points, the middle ring is 75, and the circle inside is 100. The person or creature with the most points will win immunity at tribal council which means, that person cannot be voted out this time around. And instead of an immunity idol, the winner will wear an immunity talisman around his or her neck."  
  
"Immunity talisman?" asked Stalkid.  
  
"It's a kind of a necklace," said Jeff.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"You will all go individually," said Jeff. "You will not be counted on how long you take to complete this task but you cannot stop and shoot the arrow at the target. There are five targets. You must shoot it while RIDING on horseback."  
  
First, Link took his turn, then Zelda, then Impa, then Stalkid, and then Ganon.  
  
"Okay," said Jeff. "The scores are tallied up. Link got a perfect 500 points. Zelda came in at 475 and tied with Impa, also at 475. Stalkid got 225 and Ganon got 300 even. So Link, immunity is yours." Jeff put the immunity talisman around Link's neck.  
  
"See you guys at tribal council tonight!" said Jeff.  
  
  
TRIBAL COUNCIL - Temple of Time  
  
"Okay guys, listen up," said Jeff. "This is for individual immunity, not tribal immunity, just bear that in mind when you go to vote someone out. The other rules still apply. When the votes are tallied, the decision is final and the person or creature voted out must leave the tribal council area immediately. Link has immunity and he cannot be voted off this time around. And since you have immunity, Link, you may vote first."  
  
First Link voted, then Impa, then Zelda, then Stalkid, then Ganon.  
  
"Okay, the votes are tallied and let's see who's the first to go from the Red Tribe," said Jeff. "Remember, the first three people voted out of the Red Tribe will be coming back as the jury for the final tribal council. First vote....Ganon.....second vote.....Ganon....third vote....Ganon.....fourth vote.....Ganon.....fifth vote....Link. Ganon, the tribe has spoken."  
  
Without saying anything, Ganon grabbed his stuff and Jeff extinguished his torch.  
  
"Okay guys, you've made it to the final four. Be lucky you got this far. You can head back to camp now."  
  
  
GANON'S FINAL WORDS  
  
"I was cheated, I tell you. CHEATED! CHEATED out of 1 million rupees! I'll get you Link, if it's the LAST THING I DO!"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	8. Survivor in Hyrule: Episode 7

Survivor in Hyrule: Episode 7  
  
RED TRIBE - Day 19  
  
Stalkid to the camera. "It's been almost 2 weeks and I can't believe I made it this far in the game. I'm really close to the 1 million rupees now but I don't think I'm going to make it that far."  
  
Link and Zelda are in Lake Hylia for a dip (they're wearing bathing suits, lol....this isn't R-rated). They were enjoying the fresh, cool water and the rain falling down on them.  
  
"Isn't this nice, honey?" asked Zelda.  
  
"Definitely," said Link.   
  
The two of them leaned in for a kiss. While they were kissing, Impa happened to walk down to the lake for some laundry and caught them in the act.  
  
"This is 'Survivor,' you two, not 'The Blue Lagoon,'" said Impa rather sternly.   
  
"Sorry," said Link as he and Zelda were getting out. "We were going to get out anyway."  
  
"Oh really?" asked Impa in a motherly tone of voice.  
  
"Well, yeah," said Link. "We're going to go get the mail to see what our next reward challenge is for tomorrow."  
  
In their mail was a paper origami fold out of a gold skulltulla. "This is our clue to our reward challenge?" asked Stalkid.   
  
"Well, yeah," said Link. "It's what came in the mail."  
  
  
  
REWARD CHALLENGE - Day 20 - Hyrule Field  
  
"Okay guys," said Jeff. "This time you'll be picking partners for this reward challenge. Since there are four of you, you will split into two groups of two people. One person will toss a paper gold skulltulla in the air. The other person must hit it with a slingshot and a deku nut. The team that hits the most gold skulltullas in one minute will win the reward challenge: a day of pampering at Antoine's Massage and Health Spa in Hyrule. So who's teaming up with who?"  
  
"Link and I are partners," said Zelda.  
  
"Impa and I are partners," said Stalkid.  
  
"Survivors ready! GOOOOO!"  
  
Thirty seconds later, Zelda and Link were well ahead of Stalkid and Impa. After the minute was up, Jeff counted the gold skulltullas that were hit.  
  
"Okay, Stalkid and Impa, you have 5 skulltullas and Link and Zelda, you have 15."  
  
"WOOO HOOO!" screamed Link as he hugged his wife.  
  
  
AN HOUR LATER, AT ANTOINE'S MASSAGE AND HEALTH SPA....  
  
Antoine greeted Link and Zelda in a happy manner (let's put it this way....Antoine sounds A LOT like Richard Simmons).  
  
"Helllloooooo there!" said Antoine. "My name is Antoine and I'm, like, the owner of this totally FAB health spa. Why don't you come on in and leave your stresses at the entrance, okay?"  
  
"With a health club owner like that," said Link. "I'm liable to vomit."  
  
"Isn't it lovely?" asked Antoine. "My wife picked out the totally LOVELY wallpaper! She's the co-owner!"  
  
"Whoopee doo," said Link sarcastically.  
  
"Link, be polite!" snapped Zelda as she jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow.  
  
"Okay everyone," said Antoine. "This is the massage therapy room. Just lie down on the table and leave your little worries behind. Ta-ta!"  
  
"I can't believe any woman would marry such a feminine little wuss like that," mumbled Link himself as the massage therapist went to work on his back.  
  
"I heard that!" said the massage therapist in a deep, masculine tone of voice.   
  
"Oh yeah," said Link. "Wanna make something of it?"  
  
"You do and consider yourself mince meat. Antoine is MY husband!"  
  
"Ooops, sorry," said Link as he sweated profusely. "I could've gotten myself killed," he thought to himself.  
  
Then about 45 minutes later, Antoine poked his head in to see how things were going.  
  
"Is everything going fine, my lovely wife?" asked Antoine.  
  
"Fine dear!" said Antoine's wife.   
  
"Good," he said. "I'm glad to see that there isn't any trouble. Ta-taaaa. I'll see you guys in 15 minutes for your pedicure!"  
  
"Pedicure?" Link thought to himself. "This isn't a reward challenge, this is A NIGHTMARE!"  
  
RED TRIBE - Later on that day  
  
"I wonder how they're doing," said Impa.  
  
"Me too," said Stalkid. "I bet they're enjoying themselves."  
  
  
Later on that day, Link and Zelda came back from their "refreshing" experience at the spa.  
  
"So, how was it?" asked Impa.  
  
"I enjoyed myself," said Zelda. "I feel completely stress free! As for Link, I think it's been a complete reverse."  
  
Link was shaking and sweating profusely. "Must......take.....off......nail.....polish, must....remove.....polish....from....nails," he said in a zombie-like tone of voice.  
  
"I'll take him to that scientist over there in that cottage," said Stalkid. "He might have some rubbing alcohol to take off the nail polish."  
  
  
RED TRIBE - Day 21 - IMMUNITY CHALLENGE - Zora's Fountain  
  
"Okay guys, ready for your next immunity challenge?" asked Jeff.  
  
"YES!" said Link excitedly.   
  
"Well, you must have had some experience at the health spa," said Jeff.  
  
"Let's not go there," said Zelda.  
  
"Okay, your immunity challenge is another 'easier-said-than-done' challenge. This is a swimming race and at the finish line, there will be a Zoran there to get your time. The first person across the finish line receives immunity. Survivors ready! GOOOO!"  
  
Link and Zelda were swimming side by side, followed by Impa, who was in the lead. Yards behind them was Stalkid, struggling to keep up. Impa managed to win the race and immunity as well.  
  
"Congratulations Impa," said Jeff, giving her the immunity talisman. "Immunity is yours. See you all at tribal council tonight."  
  
  
TRIBAL COUNCIL - Temple of Time  
  
"Gang," said Jeff. "You all know the rules. Impa has immunity and cannot be voted out tonight. Impa, you have immunity, you may go first."  
  
First, Impa voted, then Link, then Zelda, then Stalkid.  
  
"Okay, the votes are tallied and the decision is final and the person voted out will leave the tribal council area immediately. One vote....Stalkid......one vote....Stalkid.....one vote....Stalkid....and the last vote is for Link. Stalkid, give me your torch."  
  
"It's been a great game," said Stalkid. "Good luck guys."  
  
"Thanks for being on our tribe, kid," said Link.  
  
"Stalkid," said Jeff, extinguishing Stalkid's torch. "The tribe has spoken. The rest of you may go back to camp and have a nice night."  
  
  
STALKID'S FINAL WORDS  
  
"Well, I don't think anyone actually hated me, I think they just voted me out because of tribal loyalties and I completely understand that because I would've done the same thing if I were in their shoes."  
  



	9. Survivor in Hyrule: Episode 8

Survivor in Hyrule: Episode 8  
  
RED TRIBE - Day 22  
  
Link to the camera. "It's been a little over two weeks since we've been camped out and a few days since we merged into one tribe. It's going to be hard now to play the game because now, we will need to move out of our tribal alliance and start playing for ourselves. It's very hard. I love Zelda and Impa very dearly. It's very hard for me to deceive them."  
  
While Link, Zelda, and Impa were playing Gin Rummy, Jeff approached their shelter.   
  
"Okay guys," said Jeff. "You have one more reward challenge but it's not an actual challenge but a time to reflect on your camping trip in Hyrule, about all the luxories you take for granted every day before this experience, before the battles with the elements. I want you three to spend the entire day thinking about it, for tomorrow will be your last and final immunity challenge."  
  
Link speaks to the camera. "I learned a lot camping out in Hyrule. I have lived in Hyrule ALL my life but I had never had to rely on nature and everything else. I never realized how scarce water can be until now, except for the fact that we are now located near Lake Hylia."  
  
Zelda speaks to the camera. "I realized, that in real life, you can have all the privacy you want. In a situation like this, someone hardly has ANY personal space. Now I put a value on my privacy."  
  
Impa speaks to the camera. "Well, I learned a lot out here. I learned that people still need to be mothered every once in a while. I've never had to rely on nature to survive until now. Now I realize how hard it is to rely on nature to survive."  
  
  
IMMUNITY CHALLENGE - Day 23 - Sacred Forest Meadow  
  
"Okay guys," said Jeff. "This is a physical challenge but you are not going to be doing anything. There are three tree stumps. You will stand on those tree stumps for as long as your legs can stand it. The last person standing wins immunity. If your legs get tired, you may squat, but you cannot sit down."  
  
The three of them stood on their designated tree stumps. One hour. Two hours. Three hours. Finally, about four hours later, Zelda gave up.   
  
"It's between you guys now," said Zelda. "My legs are aching like crazy!"  
  
"Since you gave up," said Jeff. "Here's a plateful of cookies."  
  
"Oh thank you! These are great!"  
  
"Anyone want any cookies?" asked Jeff. "You gotta get off your tree stump if you want cookies."  
  
"Jeff," said Link. "DON'T PLAY WITH MY EMOTIONS!"  
  
Jeff said nothing but laughed as Link squatted down for the millionth time to rest his legs.  
  
Five hours pass. Six, seven, eight. Finally, Link gave up since it was getting dark.   
  
"Impa," he said. "Immunity is yours." He struggled to get down off his tree stump after 9 hours of standing.  
  
"Congratulations, Impa," Jeff said. "Here's the immunity talisman. I will see you guys tomorrow night at tribal council."  
  
  
TRIBAL COUNCIL - Day 24 - Temple of Time  
  
"It's great to see you guys again," said Jeff. "But to be fair this time, only Impa will be voting. Since voting for you two will cancel out, it's only fair for Impa to cast the vote this time, guys. Impa, go cast your vote."  
  
Impa went to the Survivor confessional, cast her vote and went back to the tribal council.  
  
"Okay," said Jeff. "The third person to be voted out of the Red Tribe and the final member of the jury is......Zelda."  
  
"Oh my gosh!" cried Link. His jaw had hit the floor.  
  
"Zelda," said Jeff, extinguising her torch. "The tribe has spoken. Impa, Link, you may head back to camp and I will see you guys here tomorrow."  
  
ZELDA'S FINAL WORDS  
  
"I think I may know what motivated Impa to vote for me. Maybe it was because she caught me kissing my husband while we went for that swim one time. In any case, she's still my nanny and I love her to bits. I wish the both of them the best of luck."  
  
  
  
  



	10. Survivor in Hyrule: FINAL EPISODE!

Survivor in Hyrule: FINAL EPISODE!!!!  
  
RED TRIBE - DAY 25  
  
"Okay Impa," said Link. "Jeff said we were given all day to take down our camp and pack up our stuff.   
  
"Well, what do we do with all the wood we used for the shelter?" asked Impa.  
  
"Well, that guy in the laboratory said he needed some wood to build an additional lab table so we can give the wood to him and take everything else."  
  
After cleaning up, they packed up their things and started the long, walk to tribal council. They followed a trail of extinguished torches of their "fallen comrades," or those who were voted out.....from Talon to Zelda.   
  
TRIBAL COUNCIL - Temple of Time  
  
"Okay, send in the jury," said Jeff.   
  
The jury, consisting of Zelda, Stalkid, and Ganon took their seats.  
  
"Jury members," said Jeff. "This time you will be voting in a different way. You will be voting for someone, not against someone. The winner will receive 1 million rupees and the runner-up will receive 100,000 rupees. Have you discussed your voting strategies with each other?"  
  
Everyone shook their heads.   
  
"Good," said Jeff. "Let's start with Zelda."  
  
First Zelda voted, then Stalkid, then Ganon.  
  
"Okay, once the votes are tallied, the decision is final and both contestants will walk off either being 100,000 rupees richer or 1 million rupees richer. First vote....Link. Second vote.....Impa. Third and final vote....the winner of 1 million rupees and the title of ' sole survivor,' is...........(DRUM ROLL).................................IMPA!  
  
"Way to go, Impa!" said Link, jumping up and down. "You WON! But wait, who voted for me?"  
  
"I did, silly," said Zelda. "You think I'd vote against you? Besides, I don't care how much money you win. I still love you just the same." The two of them kissed passionately in front of everyone.  
  
"Well, that's more than we need to see," said Jeff. "Congratulations to Link and Impa and see you all next time on SURVIVOR!"  
  
[Fancy theme music plays]  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
